The Love Call

My six-figure salaried banker friend called me on the phone, hysterically wanting to tie nuptial knots with his girlfriend who was also a student nurse. However, he needed one crucial litmus test; a test to prove the quantum of love his girlfriend had in her love pot for him; whether it overflowed and touched the lid, or it formed just a drop at the bottom of the pot. He wanted us to take her through a little drill. I came up with a few ideas; we put our heads together and were set to put our idea on wheels. He called her and conferenced the call;

Banker: Sweetheart will you marry me if you heard I cheated on you two nights to our wedding with your best friend?

Girlfriend: Yes, I’ll forgive you and get even with your best man. Hahahahaaa…. I’d love to see the look on your face after that.

Banker: Will you marry me if you heard I lost my job.

Girlfriend: Yes, that wouldn’t be a problem because I’d also be working so I’ll take care of the family but if you don’t get a job within a year, we will start a business or some sort of trade with all the money we would have saved.

Banker: Will you marry me if I lost my legs?

Girlfriend: Sure why not. You’ll be 99.5% of the man I love and I wanted to marry and with my little knowledge in Math; you will still be ‘that guy’ for me.‘100 perfect.’

Banker: Will you still marry me if I became impotent?

Girlfriend: The devil is a liar!!! I’m afraid my answer to that one is no. how can I be the mother of your kids if you are firing empty shell casings at a fully armed woman like me?

Banker: Nii, did she pass the test?

Now that was when she realized that they had not been alone the whole time and asked if I heard everything. I answered in the affirmative.

This was what I told My Guy;

Dude, is this the girl you introduced to me as your girlfriend years ago? She is crazy but one thing is for sure, she loves you very much. Marry her before someone else does.

Then the girlfriend who couldn’t stop laughing asked, “Nii how much did I score?”
“Congratulations dear, you scored 99.5% which according to the lil Math I know is 100‘perfect”, I answered.

But before I leave you two love birds alone, who will that lucky best man be?

Then they both yelled “You”.
Oh hell Nooooooooo. They’ve got to be kidding.